The Red-Neck Wedding

First off, I have to let you know that I have been anxiously awaiting having the time to post about this event. Just thinking about it makes me laugh and then I sober up when I realize that I'm just as red-necked as the rest of them, since the bride was my cousin. Lets see... Where should I start? I guess at the beginning.

Well, I knew it was going to be a different experience, when I walked into the rehearsal(The Kirstenator was the flower girl) and the bride who is 2 months pregnant was drinking a beer. That thought just kept getting confirmed as time went on. The Best man was missing a tooth and another groomsmen had a glass eye. As the guests were arriving for the wedding I noticed that atleast one brought his own 12 pack and it wasn't like he had discriminating tastes, it was Busch. As the grandparents were seated and the bridesmaids walked in they didn't play any music, therefore everyone just kept talking as if nothing was going happening(my aunt compared it to being in an auction house). Then came the time for the bride to come down the aisle, the photographer had to change to a new roll of film so she told the bride and her father to wait while everyone stared at them(atleast the ones who weren't still talking). Then finally they could walk down the aisle, so they cued the guy with the boom box in the back of the room to start the music. Unfortunately, he accidentally played the first 8 notes of "I walk the line" Also, unfortunately, my great aunt recognized the song and said rather loudly, "That was I walk the line." Tell me how does the "Wedding March" and "I Walk the Line' get put on the same CD? They said their vows in about 3 minutes flat and then it was time for the maid of honor, my other cousin, to sing her song. I don't know if it was a mistake or what, but the guy with the boom box played the CD with the words on it. Well, anyhow, my cousin just sang along with the CD. Atleast, I think she was. I was sitting three rows from the front and to me it looked like she was lip syncing, but she was definitely feeling the music. Whatever was going on, I couldn't hear her singing, and when the song ended everyone clapped for her. It was so bizarre. Have you ever been to a wedding where they clapped for the music? It was a first for me. So now we can move onto the reception. It was hard to keep a straight face as my grandma commented on how well my cousin sang. Needless to say, that by this time I was starting to get the giggles and everywhere I turned it just kept getting harder to resist. It could have been the fact that the three kegs of beer were gone before the cake was cut. There were around 80 guests and 20 of them were my family and ultra conservative. My family accounted for about 5 cups of beer. Therefore, that leaves you with 60 people devouring 3 kegs of beer. Now in their defense there was no other beverage offered to drink except champagne. To top it all off, guess what they served us to eat? Just guess?..... Now, I know atleast one of you guessed correctly and you were right, Manwhich on stale buns. It was a feast fit for kings, complete with pork and beans. That's like one of my husbands favorite meals and when I fix it the kids don't even want to eat it. My uncle had to order pizza because there wasn't any Manwhich left by the time he went through the buffet. I guess you call it a buffet, I don't know? As a finale to the evening my ultra conservative aunt was offered a bowl to smoke by some guy who to quote him, "Dude I just smoked two bowls and I'm drunk." To which she says,"I don't even know what a bowl is!"

Yes, a fun time was had by all! Atleast all with a sense of humor. Well, I had a good time!

I've Returned....

From my life of studying and it was worth every bit of it. I passed my test, on my first try! Yeah, for me! So now I'm in the midst of figuring out who I want to work for. I'm praying that God will guide me to the right brokerage. I guess you could say that I'm excited and nervous to see what the future brings. I hope it is full of blessings!

Studying

I have been using my precious computer time to study. I have been trying to squeeze in as much studying as possible. I am nearing the end and then I will once again become a bloggin-mama. Please bear with me and have patience. Thanks!

When Did She Get So Big?

After school I let Konrad ride his bike up and down our street. Our street is kind of curvy, so, I give him boundaries. Partially so I can see him if I look out my door. Also, because lately his brain has been in another galaxy and if he saw something or someone he likes he would just take off until he no longer knew where he was, kind of like a dog. Only I can't put tags on my son(but he has had his shots). Anyway, after I told him he could ride his bike, the Kirstenator asked if she could ride the scooter. Since she tends to be accident prone I told her,"Yes, as long as you wear a helmet and your knee and elbow pads." Not long after that she came back inside wearing the prescribed attire and asked me "Mom, where are my boundaries?" My initial reaction was to tell her she wasn't allowed to leave my side, ever. In the end I did give her boundaries - She had to stay on the driveway. All of a sudden the driveway seemed really far away and in the middle of a busy intersection. I guess it is just another sign of things to come. Yesterday, I had to register her for Kindergarten. I think, I might just miss her whinyness when she goes to school.

Getting His Money's Worth

So, I have this friend. Well I have more than one and a few of them have children similar in age to mine. This particular friend has a boy the same age as Konman. This friend's boy is a lot like other boys and men and he just can't keep himself from touching that one body part. You know the one that us girls and women don't have. You know that one body part that the boys have to keep grabbing to make sure it is still there. Well, anyway, last weekend Konman's baseball team played this boys team and I had the pleasure of watching the baseball game with my good friend, L. We had a great time watching the game as she kept count of how many times he grabbed his junk. She had made a deal with him that for every time he grabbed his junk he had to pay $.05 and if he went the entire game without doing it she would pay him $.25. When she initially told him about the deal his first response was, "But I don't have that much money." Unfortunately for him, she has started paying him for pulling weeds and now he has a fair amount of money. Atleast he did until after the game. By the end of 1 1/2 innings he was up to $.65. I don't know what the final tally was, but I started to feel bad him and I found myself thinking, " OK, kid if your going to do it, hang on to that puppy and make sure you get your money's worth."

Sneaky Like A Snake

So on Tuesday night my father-in-law shows up at my house. Unannounced! I have been feeling like crap. Therefore my house is trashed. We are talking badly trashed. So he catches my off guard and embarrassed. Here is how things went down.

He says,"Can I have the kids on Saturday Morning and take them out for lunch."
I say,"Konman had a baseball game and has to be home by 12:30pm."
He says,"No Problem."
He then turns to the kids, who are excited about spending time with Opa, and says,"So you kids want to go with me on Saturday and hold up signs?"
The kids in their innocence say,"Oh yeah! We'll get to be with Opa."
I say,"Are you using my children?"
He says, "Yeah, I'm going to have them hold up signs at the blank."(I can't remember what it is called, but it is a political event that decides whose name is on the ballot first)

Call me crazy, but isn't this something he should have asked me about with full disclosure? Before asking me in front of the kids. Keep in mind that anytime he wants to take the kids to hang out with them he asks in the exact same way. I thought he just wanted to spend time with the kids. I am pissed. The more I think about it, the madder I get.

Now I am in a quandry. The kids who have no clue what is going on, and they are excited to hold up signs for Opa(who is not running for anything, except most deceptive grandfather and worst communicator). To make matters worse one on Konman's friends from school who is in his class, on his baseball team, and a close enough friend that they were both at a sleep over last weekend for another friend. Well, this friend's dad is running against the guy Opa is supporting. When I told Opa that Konman was friends with this kid, Opa says,"Well that's to bad." I could have pinched his head off. Now, I am contemplating what to do. I might call it off even though the kids are excited. I feel like the issue needs to be confronted, but I think my husband should do it. Opa is also my husbands boss and he doesn't want to cause trouble with his dad. Nobody stands up to this guy. What to do? What to do? and how to do it nicely?

Help! My Body Is Under Attack!!!

It all started on Saturday night with the bladder infection from hell!!! At 11:30 Saturday night I was peeing blood. We don't have health insurance so I tried all my home remedies and they didn't work. I was finally able to get in and see the doctor Monday afternoon. I got my antibiotics and awaited healing. Tuesday Morning I woke up feeling bad and slept most of the morning. I went in to work at noon and left an hour later with a fever. I had gotten the flu(sore throat, sinus drainage) or something. I had a fever Tuesday night and got my period. Slept most of Wednesday. Was feeling better Thursday so I was able to get some stuff done. I had a fever again last night, but I'm feeling better this morning. I haven't been this sick in a long time. Hopefully, this thing is working it's way out of my body. I wish it would clean my house on it's way out.

Fear Is....

watching your son play catcher and knowing that he isn't wearing a cup. Shoot! We weren't even sure he was wearing underwear. I just kept thinking....one bad bounce and we're in trouble. Oh Lord, please, no foul tips or plays involving a throw home, please. But no worries, as the 2nd generation of family jewels remained untouched. With only a couple close calls. Thank you, Lord!

WARNING: Flatulence Humor

This is a video that most of the men in my family are really relating to. Enjoy!

Toot Tone Watch it now on StupidVideos!

http://www.stupidvideos.com/video/commercials/Toot_Tone/

Adult World, Here I Come!

Tomorrow and Thursday I get to be part of the adult world, lunch breaks and all. I'm a bit nervous and excited. It is all in the name of education. As part of my real estate course I get to spend two full days getting educated, so that I can pass my test. So, I have a babysitter coming over to watch the Kirstenator. For those of you who know Alexander Case, it is actually his sister. Originally she was watching another child and I was going to drop her off at someone elses place. Well, now she is going to be watching her at my house. While this is more convenient it is also more terrifying. There are certain cabinet and closet doors in my house that shouldn't be opened for fear upon your life. Things may looked picked up and somewhat clean on the outside, but once you see the inside you realize that I threw a bunch of different things in a bunch of different places 5 minutes ago. Half the time I don't know what I threw where, until a year later when I find them while throwing more stuff in there because someone else is coming over. I'm telling you it is scary. I'm hoping all goes well during the classes, and that my brain cells show up and function properly like they used to before I had kids.

Crazy Fun

Sorry, I haven't posted in a awhile, but we have been having crazy fun. The crazy fun looks to continue into the rest of this week. Hopefully, Easter will have been our peak day. Who came up with the idea of having children find eggs filled with candy and then going to church? Not the brightest idea or the easiest to accomplish. So, on Easter morning my children snuck downstairs before we knew they were awake and scouted out all the hiding places. That's right they found all of their eggs in less than 13 seconds. I told my Mom about this and she said, "Now, that's just what kids are expected to do. It is all part of the fun." If I would have tried to have that kind of fun when I was a child on Easter I would have at the very least been been lectured at and on thin ice. Funny how things change when it is their grandkids insead of their kids. Anyhow, after we arrived at church there was another easter egg hunt followed by NO CHILDRENS CHURCH. That is right they got them all hopped up on sugar and then didn't have children's church. Of course, instead of having a short sermon it was a 40 min long sermon. At one point in the sermon the preacher felt it necessary to quote Bill Clinton(I did not have sexual relations with that woman.) I'm not sure how this related to Christ's resurrection, but if I hadn't been busy threatening my naughty children who couldn't sit still, I might be able to tell you. Of course, when that quote came out I had managed to get them to sit quietly while facing forward. That is my luck. Crazy Fun Luck!

Overheard Under The Bleachers-

During Konman's baseball game last night the Kirstenator was busy telling some very gullible fellow 5 year-old's that ants eat junk food, like gum and stuff. Also, bees don't have stingers because they don't sting. They only just collect wax for honey. Many other facts, real and pretend, were repeated after they would find something new. You could always tell when they had found something new because you would hear her say "Well, let me tell you about that." Then the other children would all lean in to hear the great and wise Kirstenator and her vast knowledge. Those poor parents, I hope they all deprogrammed their children when they got home or before their children get stung by a bee.

Why? Oh Why?

Why am I the only one in this house who flushes the toilet after pooping? It never fails at least once a day I go to use the toilet and there is a big ol' turd in the toilet. Keep in mind that I have a small bladder that usually has me running to the bathroom and barely making it in time. Do they think they are leaving me a gift? Are they trying to prove that you don't digest corn? Are they showing me that they are regular and unconstipated? Do they think that they are the only one in this world who can poop and they are anxious to show off their talents? Is there a secret competition going on in this house to see who has the biggest and the best poops? Because if that is the case, once they have judged the specimen they are free to flush it. Maybe I am the judge and I don't even know it! Well, that is one competition that I refuse to judge. Call me anal! (LOL)

Hopefully, the strong reminders and encouragement they are getting from me will clear this up, toilet water and all.

SEARS SUCKS!!!

Except for Anne the shoe lady! She is awesome! The rest of 'em all suck!

So last night, my daughter was crying, crying , and crying. She wouldn't/couldn't go to sleep because she was unable to find Geoffrey, the incredible talking giraffe(However, if Geoffrey lives with you, you will not find his talking ability very incredible. And you will find yourself wondering after hearing him repeat his 8 phrases 80 times "At what point in Satan's career did he come up with this one? And where did he find the time between Barney and Chuck-e-Cheese?"). Anyhow, at 11:00 last night, after looking everywhere including the van, backyard, and trash can(Hey, you never know, maybe he talked me into hiding him there.). I came to the realization that I didn't remember seeing him since we had been in Sears. So, at 10:05 this morning I called them to see if they had found a giraffe. Their message said they were closed and didn't open until 10:00 am. So, I called again about 10:30. In order to talk to someone you have to talk to an employee in the corporate office who will then transfer you to your local store. After getting transfered to my local store, they put me on hold for so long that I got sent back to the corporate office. I finally got someone who said they would look for a stuffed giraffe about 2 feet tall in the children's or shoe section and call me back. 3 hours later....I still hadn't gotten a call back. So, I headed over there and went straight to the children's department, they hadn't seen it. I then headed over to shoes, where I found Anne the shoe lady who had helped me last time. She immediately recognized us, she had found Kirsten's giraffe and put it in a safe place. She said, "I knew it was special and you would be back." Thank you, Anne!!!

While in the shoe department I found a pair of shoes on clearance for Kirsten. So I headed to the counter to pay for them. They didn't ring up right, and Rose(who needs to retire) couldn't get past that fact. I could tell by looking, that they were in a box stating the wrong color and that someone had wrote the correct product code on the box, to help who ever rang up the item. Rose could not comprehend this, even after a sales person showed her twice and I offered to go and get one of the other boxes of the same shoes that were just a different size. After waiting for a few minutes and seeing that Rose wasn't going to get over this anytime soon. I decided to go to another check stand, where they were able to check me out promptly. Rose was still trying to explain that it was ringing up wrong in the computer to another saleslady as I was walking out the door.

After all that, hopefully there will be nothing but sweet dreams tonight!!!

I Never Thought I Would Feel This Way About Sears!

They are The Bomb!(every once in awhile I have to use this phrase from Alex. Mostly so that I can tell him that I used his phrase on my blog.) On December 24th, we bought Konman a new pair of tennis shoes. His other ones stunk so bad you couldn't be in the same room as him. About 3 weeks ago, after only having his shoes for 3 months and wearing them everyday, his insole fell out. Upon further inspection I realized that there was no tread left on parts of the sole and he had completly worn off the the rubber part of the sole that covers your toes. When I bought this pair of shoes I found out that they were part of the KidVantage program at Sears. So yesterday, I found the receipt and went to Sears. I was really nervous on how they were going to handle everything. Once we got there I was even more nervous when I couldn't find shoes similiar to his. When I asked the clerk what to do, she said,"Since we don't have anything comparable, We'll give you your money back." That's right! I got my money back and I was able to buy some Lands End shoes that were on clearance. So basically my son got a new pair of shoes for free. I have recently started buying his jeans there, as well. They definitly wear better than most jeans and if they get a hole in the knee or frayed on the bottoms I can get a new pair of jeans in the same size. This is a major thing for us moms of active 7 year-olds. He has already went throught 5 pairs of jeans, since school has started. Now let's all sing Homer Simpson's song together.

"I am so smart"
"I am so smart"
"S-M-R-T"
"I am so smart"

On a sad note, when I told Konman that we were going to the mall to get him some new shoes and baseball cleats. He said,"Can you just take me home? I don't want to go shopping. I want to play outside." My heart is very sad. I told him that I needed his foot to make sure that the shoes fit good. If he could have figured out a way to cut off his own foot so that I could take it with me instead of him, he would have done it in a heart beat. He wasn't a very nice shoe shopper either. I figured since we were buying him shoes that he could atleast acted interested and happy. I'm just so sad. He was my easy going, less talkative shopping companion.

If My Husband Wrote Love Songs....

they would be like this. I stole this from The Bees Knees (http://gingerbeethebusybee.blogspot.com/). In fact, she dedicated it to me. Well, kinda, she dedicated it to all video game widows. Enjoy!

Tripod

Watch Video

Times Infinity and Beyond

On the way home last night, after putting it off all day, I had to decide what to do for dinner. So I decided to pick up a couple pizzas from a take and bake pizza place. I love these pizzas, except for the fact that you can only cook one at a time. This is a problem because Konman and Kurt like the ham and pineapple pizza and the Kirstenator and I like pepperoni(even though she picks off the pepperoni and she refuses to eat cheese pizza.) So in order to decide which pizza to cook first we had to figure out who was the most hungry. Only Konman and I were in the van, so it was up to us to decide.

Konman "I am hungry the size of an elephant"
Me "Well, I am hungry the size of a dumptruck"(I figured I could afford to play with him a bit. Winning this would be like a walk in the park.)
K-"I am hungry the size of an elephant times infinity"
M-"I am hungry the size of a dumptruck times infinity"(Oh Yeah, My pizza is going in the oven first.)
K-"Well, I am hungry the size of God times infinity, cause God is bigger than everything!"

Let's just say that I exercised great patience while waiting for my pizza to come out of the oven, while Kurt and Konrad were eating their pizza, and I was super hungry! But do not fear I will be ready for him next time and I will come out victorious!

Also, whenever Konman plays this game with the Kirstenator it is hillarious. She doesn't quite understand how it works or the correct word to use, but she wants to get the jump on him so she will say, "Oh yeah, well, I like it to levidity." I guess this means she likes it to death? I don't know. I do know that she is supposed to be in bed and asleep when I am watching CSI.

??? Changed Man ???

For those of you who don't know, my parents are divorced, just like most of yours. It was a bitter and messy divorce, from which I have gained many stories. So, here is the cliff note version of another story I get to add to my collection. Here is what happened to me this weekend...

After having a very frustrating conversation on the phone with my biological father, who from this point forward I will call Rick. My husband *69's him, to ask him to leave me alone. He got stuck on the phone with Rick. After talking in circles for awhile, (once Rick gets cornered he changes the subject, after continually getting cornered he starts back with the first subject.) my husband was able to gain some information about Rick, from Rick's perspective. He doesn't have a drinking problem, though, he will daily have a glass of wine with his meals (one has to wonder how many meals he has a day); and his doctors say it is OK to drink some alcohol while on his prescription medications. It(the divorce) all happened because he was a work-a-holic and, because of that, he was doing maneuvers for the government, during the weekends, for free. That's straight from the horse's mouth(ass). But don't worry, even thought he was drunk a lot back then, he assured my husband that he wasn't packing heat(carrying a gun) on those maneuvers. Oh, and he did admit to having sex with another woman while still married to and living with my Mom, but he did not have an affair. So I think I can gather a couple things from this conversation:

1. He is "certifiably" mental and should be in the looney bin.
2. Consistent drinking in abundance for years is good for your mind and body.
3. Alcohol and prescription medication is always a good mix.
4. He is getting ready to make a run for a political office.

I'm thinking it could be #4. I'm telling you all the ingredients are there.

Are You What Your T-shirt Says You Are?

Well, I am! And I think we all should be, or why else would you wear it. One of my favorite shirts says soccer mom and my most recent one says carrot top. You will never see me wearing a shirt that says "princess" (this is a term I find derogitory) or "hooker"! So why would I buy one for my children? I am not going to buy my 5 year-old daughter a shirt that says "angel" or "princess", both of these would be lies(especially "angel") and things I don't want her to become. However, I love her shirts that say "boys are icky" and "love=like+like". On the same account, while shopping in Ross today there was a shirt in my 7 year-old boys size that said "PIMP". Now, imagine that you are in this marketing meeting and someone throws out the idea that putting this word on a t-shirt is a great idea and that parents would love to buy this item for their children to wear around in public. I'm guessing at this meeting, there was some smoking, snorting, and excessive drinking of items not found at Wal-Mart, in order for this idea to make it through to production. Who in their right mind would by a t-shirt for a 7 year-old (that they like and whose family they like and would like to be friends with) this t-shirt? Kon-man does have a t-shirt, that I love, that says "I do all my own stunts" and this is a very true statement. That being said, just because the saying is true doesn't mean one should wear it on their shirt or else I would be walking around with a shirt that says "Overweight mom - drinks to much coffee, is short on patience, and thanks to having kids has trouble holding her bladder" Now, there is a t-shirt that could make some money! Warning: you must be high and/or drunk to see the potential of this t-shirt.

Craazy! Crraaazzzy! I tell you!

It has been a crazy couple of weeks and I can't tell you why. I can tell you I have been busy, but I don't know what I've been doing. Well, that's not totally true. I can tell you in general terms what I have been up to, just not the specifics. So here they are...

• I visited my grandparents for a couple of days. I had a great visit, but it was sad to see how much they have aged and how much they were concered about accomplishing normal everyday activities because of how they felt. My Grandad was concerned about how he would do on a 1/2 mile hike. This wouldn't be a big thing except for the fact that a few years ago he could beat me at a 50 yard dash-forward and backwards(I'm kind of embarassed to admit it. I was even trying to win.)
• Prior to my visit with my grandparents was Spring Break, a.k.a. referee training, the kids were full of energy and the weather was awful so they couldn't play outside. I would be an awful homeschooling parent.
• The week after our spring break was my Mom's spring break. So she came to visit for a few days.
• While at my grandparent's house, my grandma taught me how to knit. I'm just learning and I'm slow as Molasses. I did start on a scarf. It took me a 1/2 hour to do 5 rows using super thick yarn and the scarf isn't that wide. It's sad, but this is something I want to learn, partly, so that I can say that my Grandmother taught me. I think that is a cool legacy for her. I hope I can do her proud, but if I don't get much better I might have to quit claiming it. For her sake if nothing else. This lady can knit and quilt like no other. She knits sweaters for children in russia. She's awesome.
• I've been taking Konrad out and throwing the ball with him. Baseball will start soon, so we have been practicing at home. This has been a huge test of my patience. I don't get to throw hard, he doesn't throw very hard or accurate, and he moves out of the way of the ball so half the time he misses. When I get really frustrated I have to resist the urge to nail him with the ball just to prove to him that it doesn't hurt that bad and you live. Yesterday, the ball bounced out of his mitt and hit his head. You would have thought he was dying the way he cried, but alas after further inspection there wasn't even a bump. I mean I don't even throw it hard enough to hurt a mosquito.

Well, there you have it a recap of the last two weeks. Sorry, it's not that exciting.

On The Road, Again!!!

It's spring break and I'm hitting the road, again. I'm heading over to eastern Colorado, to visit my Grandparents. At my sister's wedding, Grandma told me that they are thinking of selling the ranch and moving. My grandparents have lived in their current house since my mom was 6, which is more than 45 years(give or take a few years to protect my mom's age). Boy! am I a nice daughter, or what? Trust me, I'm darn nice. Every time I go, the kids and I have a lot of fun. The kids can run around all over the place and get all their energy out. They can be as loud as they want to be and nothing will be bothered by them, except the cows, birds, wild rabbits, antelope, and the coyotes in the distance. It is great! Also, they are calving so we should get to see a few brand new baby calfs. Veal is always so cute! Just kidding! **Warning tangent ahead** I only ate veal once and I didn't know what it was. Until I found out what I had eaten, I was thinking,"Man, this tastes really good. I wonder what it is?(because nobody at my table knew.)" I almost threw up when I found out. I kept picturing a baby calf. So, I also felt guilty for enjoying it. On a tangent side note, I was watching King Of The Hill the other night, the family was visiting a ranch and eating steak for dinner and Bobby asked,"I wonder if cows know how good they taste?" I love that show. Kurt and I kind of resemble Hank and Peggy Hill, except Kurt does not have a narrow urethra. We aren't even going to touch Kurt's buddies or his father(let's just say some of the similarities are eerie), but until a couple of weeks ago we had some asian neighbors. That's right we are a couple of rednecks. In fact, my family tends to name their vehicles and I have often thought of naming my minivan Peggy and Kurt's truck Hank. What do you think? ** End of tangent** OK, Ok, OK, I'm getting back on track, thanks for sticking with me. Anyhow, I am really looking forward to this trip and I am hoping to get some good pictures to help me remember my grandparents place. I have a lot of good memories there. When I was a child, once I turned 4, I would visit for a couple of weeks by myself every year. I loved those times and, as an adult, I have tried to visit every year. I am, also, looking forward to visiting with my Grandparents and to have them to myself for a couple of days. I'll let you know all about my trip when I get back. I'm praying for a safe trip with roads that are clear, snow free, and ice free.

What About A Bob???

We cut Kirsten's hair and in her words,... "Who cares? Anyways... I like it because I don't have bangs anymore(When we sweep them to the side) and it is sooo moveable when I move my head.

And in my words, it looks a lot healthier and cuter. It is actually pretty easy to do, which was a great fear of mine. Best of all, she likes it and can't quit moving her head back and forth to feel her hair move. If any of you should she her, please, don't mention that she has bangs. They are finally looking good for the first time since she cut them to her scalp a year ago. She thinks that when we sweep her bangs to the side that she doesn't have bangs. She has seen herself and still thinks this. Honestly, I don't care what she thinks as long as she leaves her bangs alone.

I think we are going to try to grow her bangs out. I know, Mom, you think she looks so much cuter with bangs. Part of me agrees, however, seeing has she has spent a fair amount of time this year trying to either trim them herself or cut them completly off. And she keeps finding the scissors no matter how well I hide them. I think she gets to decide and she has stated that she doesn't want bangs anymore. So....in my Mom's words, "End of Discussion!"

I Fell Into Sin....

I overheard my daughter singing the following song to the tune of "A Spoon Full of Sugar" from the Mary Poppins soundtrack.

I fell into sin,
I fell into sin,
I fell into sin,
In the most delightful ways.

Isn't that how it usually happens?
Such wisdom from 5 year old.

It Went Off With A Hitch!!!

The wedding went off beautifully. Except for the guy who entered the sanctuary via a side door on the stage during the wedding. He had to have known there was a wedding going on. We had been setting up most of the day Thursday, all day Friday, and all day Saturday before the big event. That, and he probably had to park a mile away just to get to the building. Atleast he was quiet, quickly shut the door, and got out of there. Since nothing ever goes as expected here are a few other things that threw us for a loop, but it all worked out in the end. Most of these things were either corrected or not even noticable to most people. The tuxedos didn't come in an had to be overnighted to get there in time, my sisters dress lining never got sewn, it was still pinned in place, we got the linens a day late(but you can't really complain about it, when your brother-in-law gets you a screaming deal), and they sent us brand new chair covers that were still in the packaging and wrinkled. The company that handled the chair covers gave us(and by us, I mean Brenda) a discount on the price. The most ironic thing was the bridal shop, where she bought her dress and rented the tux's from, did exactly what she had warned other brides to be weary of in that shop. My sister used to work for another bridal shop in town, and if they would have had the dress she wanted she would have went through them.

That being said, it was a beautiful wedding and most people didn't have a clue any of this had happened. Brenda looked breathtakingly wonderful throughout the evening and her dress was gorgeous and not just anybody could have pulled that dress off. The flowers were awesome and look amazing. The food was delicious and according to the men, having wait staff walking around and serving appetizers to you made the wedding, that and the open bar. Isn't that like every man's dream come true, being served food wherever they happen to be. Well, I've used up all my adjectives for the day. I'll try to post some pictures tomorrow.

Sorry, Sorry, Sorry

I am sorry I haven't posted in a while. I haven't forgotten about my bloglife.

It's just that, you see, my sister is getting married this weekend and I have been busy with stuff relating to this. Mostly cleaning my house and preparing for visitors(mental and physical stuff). Some of this stuff I had put off for way to long. Oh! And everyone from my Dad's side of the family(except for my Dad, because he wasn't invited) is coming to the wedding. This weekend should be quite the ride. Hopefully, I can hold on tight, keep my emotions in check, my mouth shut and enjoy the ride.

Sling Shot

The following happened with an 8 year old at work today-

After he was overheard telling another child that he could see her underwear and I shook my head at him, to let him know that he shouldn't be saying this. He says to me, rather loudly, from across the room, "What? At home when my mom bends over and we see her underwear, we tell her that we can see her sling shot!"

I'm guessing she doesn't wear briefs.

Interesting Facts I Learned Today

My bible study group finished our last study and we decided to do a study on Jonah. I never knew what an awful place Ninevah was. If God told me to go to Ninevah, I think, I would have headed somewhere else just like Jonah. I would like to say that I would do whatever God told me to do and go wherever God told me to go, but I am not so sure that I would. I struggle to do the small things God asks me to do and they are a cake walk compared to what he asked of Jonah. I might be the only one who didn't already know these things. Either way, I hope you find these interesting.

Here are a few facts about Ninevah(from around the time God told Jonah to visit):

1. They were pagan people that hated Jews.(Jonah was a Jew)
2. They would go to Jewish settlements and kill everybody and make a pyramid out of the heads they had collected.
3. They were like our modern day version of a War Lord.
4. They would take people out to the desert, bury them up to their chin, pull out their tongue, put a stake in it and leave them to die.
5. It was about 200 miles away from where Baghdad is today.(I guess things haven't changed much through out the years.)

"I'm Feelin' Hella Good, So I Just Keep On ........

Farting, I'm feelin' hella good, so I just keep on farting." Yes, this is my son's new version to the No Doubt song Hella Good. It normally goes "I'm feelin' hella good, so I just keep on dancing." Apparently his version is best sung while wagging your butt from side to side. I'm unsure who to thank for the creativity being shown by my son. I do believe that Grandpa, Uncle Troy, and Dad are at the top of the list and probably grinning from ear to ear with pride as they read this. I, however, think it is kind of funny, but am upset that he picked a No doubt song to desecrate because this is my favorite band. And, of course, he picked the song that says "hella" in it. That way I get to document in my blog that my music that was listened to, with my son in the van is what caused him to cuss for the first time. Of course, he has no clue what he is saying and at the time was trying to irritate his sister. I guess my play list just got cut! That sucks! I love that CD and I'm tired of listening to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, among others.

Konrad, also, told me on Saturday that he knows what ta-tas, tees, and breasts are. I was ready to rip into Kurt, since he had been hanging around with him all day.
So, I asked "Oh, you do?"
and he says, while clapping, "Yeah, ta-ta, ta-ta, tee and rest."(sounds like breast)
Then I figured out what my sister-in-law the music teacher, probably, figured out right away. These are beats that he is learning in music class and he claps twice for ta-ta, once for tee, and does nothing during the rest. Boy, was I relieved.

I think we just lost our bid for Parents of the Year. I guess we had it coming! Atleast, we didn't let him play in the middle of the street with a sharp knife. We should get points fo that.

A Shower Success Story

This weekend I threw a bridal shower for my sister. It went incredibly well and, I think, everyone had a good time. If they didn't then they are a bunch of good actors and liars. I am way excited about this because I did something different for her shower. Atleast, I've never heard of it being done. Instead of playing the usual assortment of games that you play at every shower, we beaded. Of course, I liked the idea and thought it sounded like fun. I was a bit nervous that no one would enjoy it or they would be intimidated by it. I put an assortment of glass beads all over the table in containers and gave everyone 4 loops of memory wire with one end turned and let everyone get to work. Everyone's bracelet looked different and except for one(the two flowergirl's looked better than hers) they all turned out cute and definitly wearable. I, also, brought stuff to make earrings and the people who got done before some of the others were able to make matching earrings. We then did cake and gifts and the shower was over in about 1 1/2 hours. I thought the timing was perfect. I just love it when everything works out the way you envision it. Thanks God! It worked out so well that I volunteered to do a baby shower for my pregnant sister-in-law who enjoys beading and got me started. Oh! and by the way, I also volunteered that my other sister-in-law would help me with the shower. She reads this and is now aware that she has been volunteered. Don't worry I left room for you to bow out gracefully if you need to. That's what you get for calling me a hippie, even if I secretly embrace this title. LOL!

Here's a picture of my bracelet-

Best Brother is Home

Yep, that is right. He arrived home last night. We are all glad to hear he is home, especially his wife. When he got off of the plane in Maine(I think? before flying to California) there was a group of Veteran's there to cheer for them and welcome them home. He thought this was pretty cool.

I was, also, informed recently by Kirsten that Piles is a very special bear and he has two birthdays. To bad he ended up in our family because we only celebrate one birthday per person per year. This is strict family policy. Good try on her part, though!

Piles Birthday Party

While doing some shopping for my sister's bridal shower that I'm helping to throw this weekend. Kirsten informs me that today is Piles birthday. For those of you who don't know, Piles is her favorite and very special stuffed animal and unless she can find a replacement for his tickle nose she has trouble falling to sleep or calming down. Piles has been a part of our family for more than 6 years and he also has the distinction of being Kirsten's only male stuffed animal. Now, Piles has never had a birthday before and I didn't know that koala bears (that look like a regular bears that resemble what James Frey(author of A Million Little Pieces) claims he looked like when he arrived at the clinic) even had birthday's.

Needless to say, that when I found out that it was Piles birthday I was a bit suprised and the following conversation took place.

"Oh, I didn't know it was Piles birthday."
"Well, it is. What is today?"
"Thursday"
"No, I mean what is the day, day?"
"It is the 9th?"
"Yeah, that's right his birthday is on today the ninth and he needs a party! And I will invite all my friends and Piles would like that. Piles would like that(pointing at something) for his birthday and he would like that, and......I tune out....... yada yada yada................ yada yada yada....... yada yada yada...........he's five just like me."

I must of had a weak moment. I think part of it was realizing that she's going to school next year and I'm not sure how much longer she will have this wonderful imagination. So, I gave in and let her pick out a gift from the $1.00 section to give Piles. I, also, let her pick out some cupcakes with Carebear rings on them. I did draw the line at inviting friends, but by the time we left the store she had worked in a package of balloons and Madagascar napkins. And it was all worth it!!

When we got home, she immediatly started drawing and coloring a picture to wrap his gift in and she wrapped his gift herself. Piles ate dinner with us, balloons were blown up in his honor, we ate cupcakes on the Madagascar napkins, and Kirsten helped Piles open his gift. She held his paw in her hand while she used the same hand to unwrap the gift. Yes, it was a good party and everyone except Konrad enjoyed themselves. Konrad proclaimed it the most boring birthday party ever. Even if Konrad didn't have a good time, I know Kurt and I will cherish this memory.

And in truly cheesy fashion-

Present for Piles $1.00
Carebear Cupcakes $2.50
Package of Ballons $ .95
Napkins $1.25
Being invited to my daughters stuffed koala's 5th birthday party $Priceless$

YAY!!! Best Brother Made My Day!!!

I was checking the comments on my last two posts and I had comments from someone new. At first, I was a bit curious about who this wierdo was that was reading my blog. Imagine my suprise and excitement when I found out that I know the weirdo. It was my brother who has been in Iraq for the last 6 months. Hopefully, I will get to talk to him over the phone when he is home safe and states-side in the next week. I enjoyed hearing from him in my comments section. Just for the record, he is my best brother. Of course, the odds are in his favor as he is my only brother.

Hey B, thanks for taking the time to comment. I know you don't always have a lot of time, and you made my day. That and the fact that you pointed out that I look better in make-up and younger than Carrot Top. Also, A BIG THANKS for not using you usual screen name of "scalded nut" I am sure nobody had taken that one, yet. he..he..he..LOL - I Am looking to hearing form you soon. Love ya!

Grand Prix Results

The Saturday before we left on our trip, we had the Grand Prix. Yes, I did get the cars done and they turned out pretty good. Atleast, I thought so. Neither one of them was fast enough to win the race(Kurt was in charge of the wheels and weights-That's what makes the car fast. So we'll blame it on him) I was in charge of design. And Drumroll, Please..... Konrad's won 1st place for design. He told me what he wanted, I helped him draw it out, he sanded it and primed it, and I helped him paint it. I don't think it hurt him any that some of his highschool buddies(like the scoob and Lyle) were the judges. Kirsten didn't win anything. I think this is partly because the powers that be thought I did everything on her car(mainly adults whose children don't have the imagination or ideas that Kirsten does, and therefore they don't understand how involved she truly was). I did most of the work on her car, as did the other parents of 5 year olds. But she decided what she wanted it to look like, what color, and where to glue the rhinestones. She also helped with the sanding and supervised the painting. As she was telling me for the 10th time in a very assertive manner that she wanted her car color to be violet. It occured to me that there is only one letter difference between violet and violent and I was starting to do deep breathing exercises so as not to add the "n" to the equation. Anyhow, there were a few tears shed because she didn't win a trophy. and the following conversation took place between Grandma and Kirsten.

G-"So how was the Grand Prix?"

K-"Not good, I didn't even win a trophy."(this was said in a very whiny voice.)
G-"Have you ever noticed that whenever we play Sorry or another game that there can only be one winner?"
K-"So, do you want to talk to Konrad?"

I guess she didn't want to talk about it. Konrad's car is a tank/hummer, it is his version of what Uncle Brad drives in Iraq. Kirsten's car is a giraffey violet colored car being driven by a giraffe queen. Kirsten has dressed her giraffe queen in a polka dot crown, violet and pearl necklace, along with a matching cape. I don't know, but it makes sense to her.

I've Returned From the Great Beyond

Kurt and I got back in town on Tuesday night. We had a great time and it was very relaxing. We enjoyed our adventure while throwing our money away at the penny slots and bingo. While in Vegas, we received coupons to see the Tournament of Kings(at Excalibur) at no charge. It's this jousting and sword fighting play and it was OK, but not worth the $55.00 dollars per person they charge. When we drove into Vegas we noticed Carrot Top was performing and we were able to get tickets at $40.00 per person, the show was 10X better than the Tournament of Kings and we didn't have to sit next to a gay couple. I had Kurt sit next to them because there was a women next to the other empty seat. They were nice guys and joked with them a little bit and I didn't realize they were gay until we were walking out of the show. Kurt said he figured it out pretty quick, He had his Gadar(gay radar) on. Whatever that means. Anyhow, Carrot Top was hillarious and we (especially Kurt) laughed the entire time. I bought a Carrot Top t-shirt and then Kurt and I had a discussion that I would like your input on. Here are the arguments and a picture of the graphic on the t-shirt.

Becky's Argument-
I like the t-shirt, mostly because I am a carrot top, myself. I have been called this name since at least 2nd grade, way before I had ever heard of the comedian Carrot Top. Shoot, he was probably still in middle school. I thought it was a pretty cool t-shirt for a red head to wear.

Kurt's Argument-
You know you can't wear that t-shirt to certain places and events, because everybody knows he does vulgar jokes.

So here is my question, if you see a red head wearing a Carrot Top t-shirt do you think of the comedian or the red head? Please let me know what you think!

My Wheels Are Spinning And I'm Not Moving

Sorry, I haven't posted in awhile. I am fighting sickness, finishing grand prix cars, sending out bridal shower invitations, getting an oil change, cleaning out the van, and attempting to finish my current real estate course. Of course I'm supposed to get all of this done today, because tomorrow morning is the grand prix and early Sunday morning Kurt and I are getting out of town for a few days to celebrate our anniversary.

I am so excited to be getting out of town for a couple days. It's hard to believe, but we've been married for 12 years. WOW!

I've Been Tagged

I was tagged by Sarah and I am kinda excited about it. I don't think I've been tagged before. At the same time I'm kinda nervous. You are about to find out what a boring person, I truly am. Well, here you have it....The exciting life of a Colorado Native.

4 Jobs you've had in your life:

1. Insurance Agent
2. Gift Wrapper
3. Soda Fountain Clerk
4. Candy Clerk (@Enstrom's)

4 Movies you watch over and over again:

(I don't really watch very many movies)

1. Any good sports movie(In all honesty, is doesn't really have to be very good at all.)
2. Anne of Green Gables
3. The Incredibles
4. Sorry, I'm out of answers

4 Places I have Lived:

1. I was born and raised in the town I currently live in.

4 Tv shows you love to watch:

1. American Idol
2. Amazing Race
3. CSI
4. Friends

4 Places you have been on vacation:

(I've never flown on an airplane)

1. Mexico, Tijuana
2. Yellowstone(Not recommended as the ideal family vacation for a teenager)
3. California
4. Mount Rushmore

4 Websites you visit daily:

1. Real Estate Training Center(I'm currently studying to get my real estate license)
2. Sarah's Sermons
3. Yahoo News
4. Singerzwife

4 Favorite foods:

1. Santorini Pizza(Nick and Willy's)
2. Mole Enchiladas
3. Good Chips and Good Salsa(Fiesta Guadalajara)
4. Chicken Enchilada Soup (Chili's)

4 Places you would rather be right now:

1. In a cabin on the mountains with my family, with no cell phone coverage, internet, or phone service.
2. At the beach
3. In Bed
4. At a spa-with a very expensive package already paid for.

4 People you tag to complete this:

1. Singerzwife
2. It's OK I'm with the Band
3. Knead the Dough
4. Bren>3 (You can use the comments section if you want.)

You Know It Is Going To Be An Interesting Day

When it is 9:00 am and you have already spanked your daughter twice, taken many deep breaths, counted to 5 atleast 10 times, rubbed her back 4 times(to calm her down), shown extreme mercy in the fact that she has only received two spankings, and prayed with her that God would take the bad ideas out of her head(This was her idea and she avoided a spanking with it). She is currently spending her second day cleaning her room, which means for everything we tell her to put away, she is getting out twice as many to play with. I'm guessing, that she will be spending tomorrow in her room as well. Unless, she decides to actually put her toys away. Don't worry Mom, I am not throwing her into her room and without giving her some direction. She is still working on picking her dress-up clothes from yesterday. And according to her it is not her fault, she can't get Sky High(We rented this movie for the kids to watch a month ago) or her bad ideas out of her brain. We can only guess as to what else is floating around in there.

? Giraffe Fairy Tale ?

As you can tell by the title, I will be talking about my daughter and her active imagination. I didn't even know you could put those three words together, let alone use them to describe something. Keep in mind, that along with her active imagination comes a very strong will that sometimes leads to plenty of discussing and explaining. Discussing and explaining things to a girl with an active imagination and strong will is like talking to a brick wall, that can discuss and explain things back to you. The only difference is that my discussing and explaining involves rational thoughts.

So, here's the story. On January 28th is our Awana Club's Grand Prix. The Grand Prix is race involving cars made from a block of wood(7"x 1 1/2" x 1 3/4") and the cars have to be made so as not to exceed cetrain dimensions(7" x 3" x 2 3/4") or weight (5 oz.). That being said you can, within those guidelines make your car look however you want. On the way home from Awana's last night I asked the kids what design they wanted their cars to look like. Kirsten pipes up right away, as is normal, and says she wants her car to look like a a giraffe fairy tale. Now, I'm not educated in princess, princess things, or anything involving pink. So, I ask, "What is a fairy tale?" I'm thinking, once I figure this out I'll be able to figure out how the giraffe fits in. She says, "You know Mom it is what princesses have." Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't princesses have a lot of things? Have you ever heard of any of them involving a giraffe? So I ask, "What do princesses do with a fairy tale?" She replies,"They ride in it to go the royal ball." Ah HA! She wants a carriage, but how does the giraffe fit in. I'm already thinking ahead to the height requirement that can't exceed 3 inches, giraffes have a tendency to be fairly tall. So I say, "The car can only be so tall and what about the giraffe?" She says,"Oh, I want the giraffe to ride in the fairy tale and I want her to be a ballerina princess. I want her to have a crown and wear a ballet thing and a cape." Seeing as we are almost home, it is bedtime, and most importantly I'm not ready for the discussing and explaining I see in my future. I tell her that she will have to draw a picture for me in the morning. So folks, Here you have it..... The Giraffe Fairy Tale.

After some discussing and explaining, she is still adamant that there be a giraffe pulling the fairy tale and that it be attached, either by string or by gluing its tail to it. Also, she will not even think about the possibility of being able to remove the giraffe and just racing the fairytale. As you can see I've got some more discussing and explaining in my future. Also, after some discussion it has been decided that it is called a fairy tale and not a carriage. What can I say, I'm saving my strength for future endeavors and she is very persuasive.

The Boys Are Out Of Town

So the boys left to go hunting this morning at 4:00 am. When I say boys I am including Konrad. Last time they went on one of these hunting trips Konrad came back very dirty and gross. He had helped them gut the elk(I guess that is what you call it?). This time he made sure to take his pocket knife that he received for Christmas so that he could be even more helpful than last time. Last night we packed his stuff and thanks to Christmas he was ready to go. He took his fanny pack with a water bottle, pocket knife, binoculars along with some snacks and orange vest to wear. He also brought along a tin of anchovies. That way if Uncle Troy or Uncle Cody wanted his snacks he would offer them the anchovies as a substitute to his dried apples. Kurt learned from last time and made sure to bring along some wipes to help clean him up. I sure hope those wipes are powerful along with some deodorizing powers.

So Kirsten and I are just hanging out and she is excited because she gets to eat a pepperoni pizza pocket for lunch. These have recently been added to the top of her list of things she will eat. Keep in mind, this is a very short list and we are always happy when we can add something to it. Lately, it has been a toss-up as to her favorite, it is between pizza Hot Pockets and ham and cheese sandwiches. It doesn't get more nutritious than that.

My Weekly Grounding and Pounding

Yesterday, I went to my weekly bible study. We are currently doing a study called "The Bait of Satan". It has been a great study and continually challenged me. Yesterday was no exception. One of the things we read was Psalm 35. As we were reading it I was thinking, "Yeah, that's how I have been feeling!" Now, I'm sure that when David wrote it he was probably facing more life and death situations than I am. After we were done reading it, the author and our leader pointed out Psalm 35:13-14. I was then convicted by that passage as well as a quote in the book. Even though I was praying for these people who have been offending me, I was not praying for them as I should. I wasn't praying for them as if they were close brothers or sisters that I truly love. I was not praying the very things for them that I want God to do for me. I guess you could say I was praying half-assed. So as usual, my weekly bible study was my weekly grounding and pounding experience.

Psalm 35:13-14 - But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth; I humbled myself with fasting; and my prayer would return to my own heart. I paced around as though he were my friend or brother; I bowed down heavily, as one who mourns for his mother.

And as I tell my kids...

you can only control yourself and your own actions. Therefore, I apologize to anyone I offended in my previous post ,please, forgive me. That doesn't mean that I don't feel that way and that everything is A-OK. It just means that I'm sorry it offended you, even if you needed to hear it. However, if this didn't pertain to you and I offended you I truly am sorry. Although, this might be a good time to do some soul searching. I know I have learned a lot about myself through this.

I have been and I am going to continue to pray about how I feel and for my family and friends.
I invite you to do the same. Sorry for my ranting and raving post. You know, every once in a while you have got to throw a curve ball it keeps 'em guessing.

I'm Tired

....of the lies and deceit that surround me. Everytime I turn around it seems that I am seeing another friend or relative pretending to be someone they are not. Sometimes they finally come out and admit it or they aren't as sneaky as they think or they are just fooling themselves. Whatever the reason, I'm supposed to act like I'm A-OK with everything and that the lying and deceit are perfectly accceptable behavior. They never apologize to me or my family for their actions. They just offer mounds and mounds of excuses and rationalizations that justify their behavior, if we even get that. Needless to say, I know I need to forgive them and I will in time. I know that I'm not a perfect human by any stretch of the imagination. I know that God has forgiven me for my junk and he will forgive them as well(if they ask for forgiveness, meaning they admit they have done wrong). Although, I really don't think that these individuals feel that what they have done or are doing now is wrong. Which means that while they continue to live their wonderfully perfect lives and lies. I'm stuck dealing with their lies and lives and trying to do this in a Godly manner. This is something I'm really struggling with. Partly because these lies and deceit are hurting people I care deeply about even if these same people are doing similar things to other people whom I care deeply about. Talk about a general lack of RESPECT. Since these people are such perfect Godly people you would think that they wouldn't be so quick to judge my parenting style, marriage, or children. Not all of us can attain such high of standards. Sometimes what works for one family, marriage, or relationship doesn't always work for another.

Lost in Translation, #2

I thought I had better post these little tidbits before I forget and they are forever forgotten in oblivion. Konrad has done it once again. Although this time I wondered if maybe he was onto something. I think there is a chance that he is a genuis.

It all started on the way home from the Vitamen Cottage. When he said, "He liked being able to push the cart at Vitamen College(Cottage)." After this comment I just swelled up with pride for my son. What a smart kid, I think as long as he has this attitude, his life can only be fulfilling. Oh, I have so much to teach him.

Then the other night at the dinner table the kids started singing songs from the Sound of Music. I don't know the exact title of the song(but I can spell Echinacea without looking it up and I know the uses for Kava Kava and Valerian Root). I think the song title might be So Long, Farewell. Anyway, it is the song the kids sing during the party for the governess right before they go to bed when they take turns exiting and they also sing it to set up their escape. Whatever the song is called Konrad was singing it like this,

"So long, farewell your waiter says goodnight."

This is where I think he might be onto something. I mean, just think, when you eat at a restaurant, at the end of your meal, instead of the waiter just coming over and handing you the check. They could deliver it with style and maybe a little dance would get them a bigger tip as well. They could sing this when they give you the check.

"So long, farewell your waiter says goodnight, I hate to see you leave, your total came to $34.95."

It's just an idea, but it would definetly be easier on the ears as opposed to that stupid birthday chant done military style at Texas Roadhouse. Although, if they sing like me it might be better if they just handed you the check. That way they don't risk losing their entire tip.

When is Christmas Break Over?

I know there are some of you teachers out there enjoying your Christmas break. I'm happy that you are getting some of your relaxing, rest, and reading in. However, you will be paying for it when those children return to school. If the rest of the children out there are like mine. You are in trouble (insert evil laugh here!!!). We have been doing more crafty activities and we even went hiking on the Monument. Still they have an abundance of energy. They are feeding off of each other. Konrad in particular is losing his mind. He just runs from the front door to the back door making weird boy noises and jumping periodically while carrying a stick, bat, or other strange stuff. After about a 1/2 hour of this I tell him "Go and find something else to do." He then interprets this as "Go and bug your sister." So... about 5-10 minutes later I start to hear high pitched wails and screaming. Upon investigating why I'm hearing what I'm hearing, I find out that Kirsten thinks she is hurt(She has no middle ground. She is either fine or near death.) from being tackled while playing football in the living room, or Konrad has taken the item she was playing with. Konrad then proceeds to act like she asked him to take this item and that he can't hear her screaming about it. Now in his defense, sometimes when she is screaming and wailing only dogs can hear her complaints. However, when we are able to hear her complaints so can anyone within a 100 yard radius. So, at this point I send them to their rooms because after going through this a few times I have realized that I am then guaranteed a few moments of peace and quiet. Atleast, until the cycle starts again.

I seriously thought about moving to a different county for one week because their school started on Monday. I'm starting to regret my decision.

Happy New Year!!!

I'm just spending the day contemplating life. Where I'm at, where I want to be. Setting some new goals and letting some things go. I don't really do resulutions, but I do think it is important to take some time and think about where you have been and where you are going. I'm prayng that God would give Kurt and I the wisdom we need; and that we would listen and heed it.

This is a quote that I have been drawn to lately. Most likely, because patience is usually a word I try to avoid. Enjoy!

Patience with others is love,
Patience with self is hope,
Patience with God is faith.

Adel Bestavros

I Thought This Was Funny!

I was going through my receipts from Christmas and I came across this one. I had bought a pair of jeans for Konrad and a pair of underwear for Kirsten. You have to read the descriptions for each item. Is MDS an abbreviation for merchandise? That would make the underwear-bikini, ass merchandise. I thought this was hillarious and it gave me a chuckle every time I thought about it. Enjoy!

Don't get into a tizzy because I bought my daughter bikini underwear. First off, on her the bikini cut still fits like briefs, the girl has no butt. Second off, I had trouble finding underwear for little girls that wasn't bikini cut. Trust me, this 'ol prude looked and compared to my other options these were a good choice.

Christmas Has Come and Gone

and now I'm sick. You gotta love life. I've been taking my Echinacea and Goldenroot, so hopefully I will curb this illness.

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day was busy. The day after Christmas I got together with some old high school friends. I will start with Christmas Eve. It was a good day. We had Troy and Danielle over for breakfast, we let the kids open up one gift, and I received my gift from Kurt. Let me just say that Kurt usually sucks at buying gifts, if he even buys a gift. Not this year!!! I got diamond earrings, Baby!!!! I love them! Ok, enough celebrating. Anyhow, we went over to my father-in-laws house for appetizers. Apparently when they say appetizers they mean a meal. The food was good and the relatives were late and insensitive as usual. We are the only ones with children, atleast until August. Except for Troy and Danielle(I'm not just putting that in here because you read my blog Danielle), the rest of them are very insensitive to the fact that children have different needs than adults. We were supposed to start at around 7:00 pm and Kurt said we need to try to leave by 8:45 pm so that the kids get to bed at a decent time and get enough sleep so that they are not cranky beasts the next day. In typical fashion one of our relatives arrives an hour late and doesn't apologize or even try to offer a lame excuse(they told Kurt they were on their way at 7:00, while another relative confirmed they hadn't even left at 7:40). In fact one of these relatives said to me with a straight face, "Even though we'll be up late tonight. I'm sure everyone in my household will be up early tomorrow as well." I didn't pinch his head off, but I almost went after him verbally. The youngest person staying in that household was 25 years old. I would hope that when someone at the age of 25 years is cranky from lack of sleep thay can control themselves enough to not whine and cry about stupid stuff. You know kind of like my 5 year old acts when she hasn't gotten enough sleep. OK, enough venting of my frustrations. We opened gifts and Kurt's father and his wife spoiled my kids as usual. We had a good time even if we didn't leave until 9:30 pm.

Christmas Day was nice, except for the fact that Kurt was sick and he had to do sound at church that morning. The kids woke up fairly early around 6:30 and Konrad was in tears because his neck was bugging him. It was so bad that the rest of the day his neck was bent to the side and he couldn't move it. It put a bit of a damper on his Christmas, you could tell he was definetly in some pain. He was still able to enjoy his new Gameboy games though. Kirsten loved everything as is her nature, except the Sound of Music DVD. Konrad had gotten Charlie and the Chocolate Factory DVD so they both decided to trade each other and they were both happy with the trade. That afternoon, we went to my mother-in-laws for dinner and more gifts. We had a good time. Konrad received a pocket knife(which we OKed for a gift) and everytime we leave the house he asks if he can bring it. It is never far from his pocket. Kirsten received many artistic gifts and everytime she uses one she says, "Whoever got me this must have known I was an artist." And she is right. She also received a knitting machine and so far we have made two scarves, I say we because she can't do it by herself, yet. All in all, we had a pretty good Christmas, in spite of my attitude problem. I will blog more about the day after Christmas and other happenings this week tomorrow. What can I say it has been a busy week.

Christ-y Christmas

To quote Jim Carrey from the Conan O'Brien Show the other night-

"I hope you have a Christ-y, Christ-y, Christmas!"

I don't know if I will be able to post before Christmas, I hope you all have a Wonderful and relaxing Christmas.

Picture of the Lights

I took these pictures last night of the Christmas lights in the subdivision where we were caroling. I think these turned out pretty good and I had fun fooling around with my camera.

Finally, alone time

and I have to work and clean house! This is so my luck! My Mom and Keith took Kirsten home with them(up to Craig) for a few days. So that means that while Konrad is at school, I am all by myself. I can't remember the last time I didn't have someone wanting(more like demanding) my attention. The lack of interruption has been heavenly. I have actually completed a couple thoughts, although I still don't remember what they were. I am SO turning into my mother. Pretty soon I won't be able to remember where I parked or my children's names.

Anyhow it has been an eventful couple of days. My side of the family got together and celebrated Christmas, Konrad was baptised, Kurt baptised him, both kids were in a Christmas program at church, and we've attended two parties. We enjoyed ourselves at both parties, ate some good food, and tagged along for some caroling. I took pictures while the folks who can sing sounded beautiful(most graduated from college with vocal performance degrees).

The Christmas program was good. Kirsten had me laughing so hard that I was crying. The morning of the play she decided to wear her beek on her face instead of on her forehead as planned. It made the costume look better, except that when she went to say her line, she couldn't figure out where to put the microphone. She kept moving it around trying to figure out what to do, and the you heard her say,"uhh, uhh, my beek is in the way." So someone had to help her put the microphone in the beek. It looked like she ate half of it. She was supposed to say," I am just a little dove but I can plainly see a savior in a manger who will live eternally" and instead of saying eternally she said internally. It was so cute and I was so proud of her for how she handled herself. Those of you who know Kirsten, you know that when she gets flustered she tends to freak out and it isn't pretty. In fact it is pretty embarrasing for her mother.

I am including some pictures of Kirsten as a dove and the group of carolers.

High On Paint Fumes

So, it is 11:30 pm Friday night. I am waiting for paint to dry and my glue gun to warm up. I am working on Kirsten's dove costume for a Christmas play on Sunday and tomorrow is going to be busy so I need to get most of it done tonight. I just got done spray painting her beak and feet gold, like shiny gold glitter. I had to spray paint them in the kitchen, because we don't have a garage, it is to cold outside, and I don't want to wake Konrad up by going downstairs. Besides I don't think he should be smelling those fumes all night. So here I am getting high on paint fumes as I wait for it to dry.

She is going to be a dove that is all about the bling. We are using her angel dress-up dress that is white with gold glitter stars on it. To make it look right I am giving her a gold beak and feet. I hope it turns out OK. Wish me luck!

2 Times is Better Than One!

Konrad is planning on getting baptized on Sunday. I am way excited and proud, because he decided this on his own. Having said that, I was talking to him this morning about being baptized, why he wanted to do it, why it was important to him, and to make sure he understood the decision he was making.

"Why do you want to be baptized?"
"Because I want Jesus in me."
"Jesus in already in you"
"But I want him to be in my heart."
"You already asked Jesus to be in your heart. Do you remember when you prayed with me to make him the Lord and Savior of your life?"
"Yeah, but two times is better than one!"

Don't all of you legalist get to worrying your perfect little heads off. After further discussion, it became obvious he was confused as to the different terms between being saved and baptized(which is kinda hard for a 7 year old to distinguish between). He had just intertwined the two. He totally understood that he had already made the decision and prayed the prayer to make God the Lord and Savior of his life. He, also, understood the difference between that and of publicly showing his love and his desire to make God the Lord of his life; And the importance of doing so. After talking to him I am confident that he understands the decision he is making.

Anyhow, I just thought it was a cute quote. Keep in mind that this is the same kid who when asked the question "Hey, what's up?" answers "Good!" and he has been doing this for the last year.

Not Your Average Advent Calendar

We have this nice advent calendar hanging on our wall in the living room. It has 25 pockets, and we have 4 candy canes in each pocket and every day each one of us gets one candy cane. Up to day 14 is empty. Except for yesterday, I went into the living room and happened to glance at the calendar. Kirsten had put a lizard(from her lizard collection) into each of the empty pockets. All you could see was their heads and two front legs sticking out. It was pretty darn funny to look at and if you didn't know how we were doing the calendar you might have thought we took out a lizard every day. I just had to laugh and think, "What made her think that the lizards belonged in the pockets, or that the pockets needed a little something... hmmm... maybe my lizards."

Yes, my daughter has a stretchy lizard collection, doesn't yours? It started when she got a couple of those little stretchy lizards at Chuck E Cheese(satan's idea of a pizza joint, it probably is a lot of fun compared to hell). She then took a wire basket she had and put the lizards in their "cage". In their cage she put a little people bathtub, some plastic palm trees and a few rocks. One of the lizards got broken into half when she tried to put a polly pocket skirt on it. She was so upset over it, that Kurt went and bought her a bag of them for $.88. So now she has a bigger cage for all of her lizards that she keeps in her room. This is normal, right? OK, so maybe my daughter is a little bit weird. She gets that from Kurt, the stretchy lizard buyer.

Just when I think I'm Done

I was so proud of myself last night. I was all but done with my Christmas shopping and all but done with wrapping the gifts. Well, that fell apart at about 12:36 pm today. I had ordered a gift from ebay and they sent me the wrong thing. It was the right thing except that it was supposed to be new and was used. They gave me a refund which was great, except that now I have another gift to buy. I liked being done and now I'm not. I am bit pissed off and stressed about this. This gift was for my sister and my family is doing a gift exchange on Saturday. So I have 2 days to find the perfect gift. Sorry Brenda, better luck next year. Just Kidding.

Click N' Ship

Last night and today I have been getting most of my cards and packages into the mail. I was a little leary of using the postal service Click N' Ship, but it was awesome. You need a scale and mine only measures weight up to 5 lbs so I had to take one package to the post office. I had to go there anyway to mail something to my brother, because you have to fill out a customs form. I had to mail like 8 packages. I was able to pay for shipping and print most of the labels here at home. Then I taped the labels on, took them to a bulk mail place and dropped them off. I didn't have to wait in line and I could leave my daughter in the van. It was wonderful. I only have like 3 more to mail and I am going to try to keep them under 5 lbs. I love it when businesses figure out ways to make my life easier. To quote Alex "It's the bomb!"

Another Random Thought

This thought came to me while giving Kirsten a bath today.

"I love having a daughter with red hair. Now when there is red hair clogging the drain, on the soap, in the brush or comb, or in food; it doesn't neccesarily mean that it belongs to me. Whenever someone accuses my hair of being somewhere it shouldn't be, I can blame my daughter. When she starts shaving my plan will be complete."

"No Kurt, I didn't use your razor(you can insert many things here. For example soap, brush, Doritos, CD). I don't know who did. Maybe you should ask your daughter, you know I'm not the only one around here with red hair."(wink,wink)

Yeah, that's a good plan. Hopefully it will work.

See If I Share My Random Thoughts Again!!!

No, I haven't been to a lot of funerals, only a handful. I guess I'm just a sensitive gal, or more likely a weird gal with strange thoughts. After this, I'm am not using this new found talent on my blog anymore. However, I will answer the few people who have requested the use of my talent. Because I don't want you to think I made all this up, but if you piss me off I will be forced to chose "Ding, Dong The Witch is dead" and that wouldn't be appropriate. Keep in mind this is off the cuff. I have put zero effort into this.

DISCLAIMER: Due to the extreme sensitivity of this subject. I must bring to the peoples attention that we might not neccesarily agree with my choices. However, these choices aren't meant to offend or hurt anyones feelings. I can't beleive I'm doing this.

Becci- First off the easy choice is "Wish you were here" by Pink Floyd, "I am Free" by Five Face Down and depending on the cicumstances, I think Kurt Cobain has a good song that he sang on MTV Unplugged but I could be wrong about that.

Prudence-First off the easy choice is "I am Free" by Five Face Down(DUH), and that new song out by Natalie Grant, "Held", and I'm sure if I was forced to I could put a bit more effort into it and come up with a couple more.

Morbid Thoughts

It happened again this morning while I was listening to the radio. I heard a song, and about halfway through, I thought this would be a good song selection for ____'s funeral. Don't worry Mom, it wasn't you. I already have a couple picked out for yours. I don't know why I think these weird and morbid thoughts. They usually concern someone I care about a lot(bolded for Mom's benefit) and I would be very sad if I was ever in this situation. That being said, I've decided that I would be very good at picking out unique music to play at somebody's funeral. I told you it was morbid. I would, however, have to know them and this would call for some advance notice. Hey, I'm not psychic and the plan isn't perfect. So, unless there is a market I am not aware of, I'm afraid my newly discovered talent will have to go unused.

Now, I am aware that this is a weird thought, but if you all are honest with yourselves I'm sure you have equally strange thoughts. Maybe not as morbid though.

Do You Understand What I am Saying?

Yesterday, we finally got the tree up and decorated. Last year after Christmas I bought a new tree it is pre-lit and I LOVE IT. I was so excited as I got it out of the box. I knew I had already avoided one arguement. Well, there were more to follow and I am including my children in this as well. They couldn't listen to instructions if their life depended on it, and towards the end of the evening their lives almost did depend on it. The following was one of many one sided conversations we had.

"Now, this year we are going to make sure that we don't lose any pieces to our nativity."(it's a Playmobil Nativity-way cool. Would be even cooler if one of the wise men didn't have a hole in its head because we lost his hair.)

"Do you guys understand what I'm saying?" Wait for affirmation

"Ok, that means that this nativity stays on the coffee table. You do not move any of the pieces away from the coffee table. We are going to treat this nativity with respect. OK."

"Do you guys understand what I'm saying?" Wait for affirmation

"Good."

Not even an hour later, after refereeing a few arguments over the nativity, Kirsten has the angel flying around the living room, like a bird, and then leaves it on the couch. While Konrad has one of the wise men using his super powers against one of the other wise men. The wise man on the receiving end of the unknown super power is sent flying against the wall and onto the floor. Correct me if I'm wrong, but niether of these happens in the Bible, especially around Christ's birth. So the conversation continues...

"Did I not ask you to keep the nativity pieces on the table?"

Wait for affirmation

"If you guys do not respect the nativity I will take it away from you! Do you understand?"

Wait for affirmation

Immediatly after this conversation, it occurs to me that I just threatened to take Jesus away from them, even if only figuratively.

Played or Not, I Got Sick!

I got sick and so did Kirsten. Friday morning started with a mondo headache and shortly after I was praying to the Porcelian God. So I spend the morning spewing, sleeping, and answering Kirsten's 1 million questions(that is what it felt like). By noon I was feeling better and was getting myself some crackers to snack on. Why is it that since I've had children I only have goldfish crackers in the house? About that time, I hear from the livingroom, the sound of a geyser erupting. So I grab a bowl and run towards the noise. It was Kirsten and she was spewing as well, except she just laid there the whole time and spewed all over herself. It was gross and I think she her spew was getting 6-12 inches of air. So after giving her a bath and cleaning up the spew while gagging. I used towels like drop cloths so that if the spew geyser should erupt again it wouldn't get on the furniture or carpet. Needless to say she spewed a few more times. By the end of the day I had given her 2 more showers, Thrown her blanket and Piles into the washing machine twice, spot cleaned a few stuffed giraffes(she loves giraffes), and watched her giraffe documentary and Madagscar probably 5-6 times (I couldn't have planned the rental of that movie any better).

For those of you who don't know who Piles is. He is Super Piles her precious bear that wears a cape. He isn't in the best shape and every time we have to put him in the washer we get a bit nervous that he isn't going to make the journey. She developed a major liking to him after I had to take away her pacifier, when she was 6 months old. We were worried it might be contributing to why she wasn't gaining any weight. She instantly loved him and you could tell because she would suck on his nose for comfort. As my Grandma pointed out, "It is shaped like a breast." I would like to think that mine are at least a bit bigger than his nose, oh well. Eventually she went from sucking his nose to just rubbing it for comfort. As she says, "he has a tickle nose". In the last couple of years we haven't let her take it out of the house, but he is still in pretty bad shape. Below is a picture of Piles and his giraffe friends. Everyone is clean and feeling better now.


Pictured from left to right: Melman, Spot, Piles, Starlight, Lem, Analise, and Barbie. Piles is the only boy in this picture. And I'm supposed to tell you that Tinker(a stuffed Koala, Not Shown) is Piles Mom and Piles is a koala.

Mean, Being Played, or Brilliant?

So yesterday I pick the Konman up from school and he is kinda grabbing his belly. He says he doesn't feel well. So, naturally, I ask him what he ate for lunch "Just a cinnamon roll because they didn't have the kind of bean burrito I wanted." Being the indecisive mother I am, I can't decide if he is hungry (because he normally eats a ton) or sick. So I decide the best way to find out is to feed him something. At 6:30 last night he threw up. Then I can't decide if something he ate didn't sit well or if he has this awful flu thing that is going around. About that time the pizza arrives and he says he wants some so I tell him he can have 1 piece and some applesauce. Isn't pizza on the B.R.A.T. diet? After one piece the poor kid is starving so I let him have another piece. At bedtime his stomach starts to hurt again. I sent him to bed with a pitcher and he made it through the night. I fed him oatmeal for breakfast a bit earlier than normal, hoping to see how he reacted to it before I sent him to school. Everything seemed fine until right before we leave for school. Then the following conversation takes place.

"My stomach hurts."
"Like it was last night?"
"Yeah."
"Do you think you are going to throw up?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I can't send you to school if your sick."
"Oh, I was just kidding?"

After a few tears about not getting the perfect attendence award and "I said I was just kidding"
I told him I didn't know what to believe and I can't take a chance sending him to school. Then he was like OK and he's been playing just fine all morning. So I sent him downstairs to clean his room. I'm starting to feel like I've been played, by a 1st grader. I'd like to think I'm smarter than this. I mean if he can fool me now there is no hope of winning in the future. I can't decide if I'm mean for making him stay home and clean his room on a "sick" day, or if I've been played(by a 1st grader), or maybe I'm brilliant for figuring out I got played(if I did) and making him have no fun by cleaning his room. All in all, I think I'm putting way to much thought into this chess match and I need to save as much mental capacity as I can for the next one.