Sneaky Like A Snake

So on Tuesday night my father-in-law shows up at my house. Unannounced! I have been feeling like crap. Therefore my house is trashed. We are talking badly trashed. So he catches my off guard and embarrassed. Here is how things went down.

He says,"Can I have the kids on Saturday Morning and take them out for lunch."
I say,"Konman had a baseball game and has to be home by 12:30pm."
He says,"No Problem."
He then turns to the kids, who are excited about spending time with Opa, and says,"So you kids want to go with me on Saturday and hold up signs?"
The kids in their innocence say,"Oh yeah! We'll get to be with Opa."
I say,"Are you using my children?"
He says, "Yeah, I'm going to have them hold up signs at the blank."(I can't remember what it is called, but it is a political event that decides whose name is on the ballot first)

Call me crazy, but isn't this something he should have asked me about with full disclosure? Before asking me in front of the kids. Keep in mind that anytime he wants to take the kids to hang out with them he asks in the exact same way. I thought he just wanted to spend time with the kids. I am pissed. The more I think about it, the madder I get.

Now I am in a quandry. The kids who have no clue what is going on, and they are excited to hold up signs for Opa(who is not running for anything, except most deceptive grandfather and worst communicator). To make matters worse one on Konman's friends from school who is in his class, on his baseball team, and a close enough friend that they were both at a sleep over last weekend for another friend. Well, this friend's dad is running against the guy Opa is supporting. When I told Opa that Konman was friends with this kid, Opa says,"Well that's to bad." I could have pinched his head off. Now, I am contemplating what to do. I might call it off even though the kids are excited. I feel like the issue needs to be confronted, but I think my husband should do it. Opa is also my husbands boss and he doesn't want to cause trouble with his dad. Nobody stands up to this guy. What to do? What to do? and how to do it nicely?

Help! My Body Is Under Attack!!!

It all started on Saturday night with the bladder infection from hell!!! At 11:30 Saturday night I was peeing blood. We don't have health insurance so I tried all my home remedies and they didn't work. I was finally able to get in and see the doctor Monday afternoon. I got my antibiotics and awaited healing. Tuesday Morning I woke up feeling bad and slept most of the morning. I went in to work at noon and left an hour later with a fever. I had gotten the flu(sore throat, sinus drainage) or something. I had a fever Tuesday night and got my period. Slept most of Wednesday. Was feeling better Thursday so I was able to get some stuff done. I had a fever again last night, but I'm feeling better this morning. I haven't been this sick in a long time. Hopefully, this thing is working it's way out of my body. I wish it would clean my house on it's way out.

Fear Is....

watching your son play catcher and knowing that he isn't wearing a cup. Shoot! We weren't even sure he was wearing underwear. I just kept thinking....one bad bounce and we're in trouble. Oh Lord, please, no foul tips or plays involving a throw home, please. But no worries, as the 2nd generation of family jewels remained untouched. With only a couple close calls. Thank you, Lord!

WARNING: Flatulence Humor

This is a video that most of the men in my family are really relating to. Enjoy!

Toot Tone Watch it now on StupidVideos!

http://www.stupidvideos.com/video/commercials/Toot_Tone/

Adult World, Here I Come!

Tomorrow and Thursday I get to be part of the adult world, lunch breaks and all. I'm a bit nervous and excited. It is all in the name of education. As part of my real estate course I get to spend two full days getting educated, so that I can pass my test. So, I have a babysitter coming over to watch the Kirstenator. For those of you who know Alexander Case, it is actually his sister. Originally she was watching another child and I was going to drop her off at someone elses place. Well, now she is going to be watching her at my house. While this is more convenient it is also more terrifying. There are certain cabinet and closet doors in my house that shouldn't be opened for fear upon your life. Things may looked picked up and somewhat clean on the outside, but once you see the inside you realize that I threw a bunch of different things in a bunch of different places 5 minutes ago. Half the time I don't know what I threw where, until a year later when I find them while throwing more stuff in there because someone else is coming over. I'm telling you it is scary. I'm hoping all goes well during the classes, and that my brain cells show up and function properly like they used to before I had kids.

Crazy Fun

Sorry, I haven't posted in a awhile, but we have been having crazy fun. The crazy fun looks to continue into the rest of this week. Hopefully, Easter will have been our peak day. Who came up with the idea of having children find eggs filled with candy and then going to church? Not the brightest idea or the easiest to accomplish. So, on Easter morning my children snuck downstairs before we knew they were awake and scouted out all the hiding places. That's right they found all of their eggs in less than 13 seconds. I told my Mom about this and she said, "Now, that's just what kids are expected to do. It is all part of the fun." If I would have tried to have that kind of fun when I was a child on Easter I would have at the very least been been lectured at and on thin ice. Funny how things change when it is their grandkids insead of their kids. Anyhow, after we arrived at church there was another easter egg hunt followed by NO CHILDRENS CHURCH. That is right they got them all hopped up on sugar and then didn't have children's church. Of course, instead of having a short sermon it was a 40 min long sermon. At one point in the sermon the preacher felt it necessary to quote Bill Clinton(I did not have sexual relations with that woman.) I'm not sure how this related to Christ's resurrection, but if I hadn't been busy threatening my naughty children who couldn't sit still, I might be able to tell you. Of course, when that quote came out I had managed to get them to sit quietly while facing forward. That is my luck. Crazy Fun Luck!

Overheard Under The Bleachers-

During Konman's baseball game last night the Kirstenator was busy telling some very gullible fellow 5 year-old's that ants eat junk food, like gum and stuff. Also, bees don't have stingers because they don't sting. They only just collect wax for honey. Many other facts, real and pretend, were repeated after they would find something new. You could always tell when they had found something new because you would hear her say "Well, let me tell you about that." Then the other children would all lean in to hear the great and wise Kirstenator and her vast knowledge. Those poor parents, I hope they all deprogrammed their children when they got home or before their children get stung by a bee.

Why? Oh Why?

Why am I the only one in this house who flushes the toilet after pooping? It never fails at least once a day I go to use the toilet and there is a big ol' turd in the toilet. Keep in mind that I have a small bladder that usually has me running to the bathroom and barely making it in time. Do they think they are leaving me a gift? Are they trying to prove that you don't digest corn? Are they showing me that they are regular and unconstipated? Do they think that they are the only one in this world who can poop and they are anxious to show off their talents? Is there a secret competition going on in this house to see who has the biggest and the best poops? Because if that is the case, once they have judged the specimen they are free to flush it. Maybe I am the judge and I don't even know it! Well, that is one competition that I refuse to judge. Call me anal! (LOL)

Hopefully, the strong reminders and encouragement they are getting from me will clear this up, toilet water and all.

SEARS SUCKS!!!

Except for Anne the shoe lady! She is awesome! The rest of 'em all suck!

So last night, my daughter was crying, crying , and crying. She wouldn't/couldn't go to sleep because she was unable to find Geoffrey, the incredible talking giraffe(However, if Geoffrey lives with you, you will not find his talking ability very incredible. And you will find yourself wondering after hearing him repeat his 8 phrases 80 times "At what point in Satan's career did he come up with this one? And where did he find the time between Barney and Chuck-e-Cheese?"). Anyhow, at 11:00 last night, after looking everywhere including the van, backyard, and trash can(Hey, you never know, maybe he talked me into hiding him there.). I came to the realization that I didn't remember seeing him since we had been in Sears. So, at 10:05 this morning I called them to see if they had found a giraffe. Their message said they were closed and didn't open until 10:00 am. So, I called again about 10:30. In order to talk to someone you have to talk to an employee in the corporate office who will then transfer you to your local store. After getting transfered to my local store, they put me on hold for so long that I got sent back to the corporate office. I finally got someone who said they would look for a stuffed giraffe about 2 feet tall in the children's or shoe section and call me back. 3 hours later....I still hadn't gotten a call back. So, I headed over there and went straight to the children's department, they hadn't seen it. I then headed over to shoes, where I found Anne the shoe lady who had helped me last time. She immediately recognized us, she had found Kirsten's giraffe and put it in a safe place. She said, "I knew it was special and you would be back." Thank you, Anne!!!

While in the shoe department I found a pair of shoes on clearance for Kirsten. So I headed to the counter to pay for them. They didn't ring up right, and Rose(who needs to retire) couldn't get past that fact. I could tell by looking, that they were in a box stating the wrong color and that someone had wrote the correct product code on the box, to help who ever rang up the item. Rose could not comprehend this, even after a sales person showed her twice and I offered to go and get one of the other boxes of the same shoes that were just a different size. After waiting for a few minutes and seeing that Rose wasn't going to get over this anytime soon. I decided to go to another check stand, where they were able to check me out promptly. Rose was still trying to explain that it was ringing up wrong in the computer to another saleslady as I was walking out the door.

After all that, hopefully there will be nothing but sweet dreams tonight!!!

I Never Thought I Would Feel This Way About Sears!

They are The Bomb!(every once in awhile I have to use this phrase from Alex. Mostly so that I can tell him that I used his phrase on my blog.) On December 24th, we bought Konman a new pair of tennis shoes. His other ones stunk so bad you couldn't be in the same room as him. About 3 weeks ago, after only having his shoes for 3 months and wearing them everyday, his insole fell out. Upon further inspection I realized that there was no tread left on parts of the sole and he had completly worn off the the rubber part of the sole that covers your toes. When I bought this pair of shoes I found out that they were part of the KidVantage program at Sears. So yesterday, I found the receipt and went to Sears. I was really nervous on how they were going to handle everything. Once we got there I was even more nervous when I couldn't find shoes similiar to his. When I asked the clerk what to do, she said,"Since we don't have anything comparable, We'll give you your money back." That's right! I got my money back and I was able to buy some Lands End shoes that were on clearance. So basically my son got a new pair of shoes for free. I have recently started buying his jeans there, as well. They definitly wear better than most jeans and if they get a hole in the knee or frayed on the bottoms I can get a new pair of jeans in the same size. This is a major thing for us moms of active 7 year-olds. He has already went throught 5 pairs of jeans, since school has started. Now let's all sing Homer Simpson's song together.

"I am so smart"
"I am so smart"
"S-M-R-T"
"I am so smart"

On a sad note, when I told Konman that we were going to the mall to get him some new shoes and baseball cleats. He said,"Can you just take me home? I don't want to go shopping. I want to play outside." My heart is very sad. I told him that I needed his foot to make sure that the shoes fit good. If he could have figured out a way to cut off his own foot so that I could take it with me instead of him, he would have done it in a heart beat. He wasn't a very nice shoe shopper either. I figured since we were buying him shoes that he could atleast acted interested and happy. I'm just so sad. He was my easy going, less talkative shopping companion.